I'm Begging You to Eat

When little children first appeared in our lives we started out with such great intentions, cook a nice dinner, have the kids sit down and eat and politely ask for more when they are done.
False
Dinner time has now been officially reduced to an hour of me begging kids to eat.


Dinner usually starts out with Kelly and I using every ounce of manipulation to convince the girls that what is being made is so fun and delicious. To accomplish this you usually have to trick the kids by repeating things like "Mmmm you girls are going to love these mini corn dogs-Snow White loves to eat these with all of her woodland friends". "These are Ariel's favorite fish sticks and she says all real princesses eat at least 5". etc. etc.


The girls are excited and can't wait to sit down and eat their princess food. We sit the plate in front of them then somehow immediately after the prayer, a little switch has flipped in their little brains and their food is now essentially the equivalent of a poison apple from the witch in Snow White that cannot pass their lips at any costs.


Fast forward about 20 minutes and what started out as the best intentions has reduced me to being on my hands and knees begging a kid to take one more bite of the corn dog. I then start to bargain like its a hostage negotiation. First I promise a cookie if they take a bite- no deal, then I threaten no desert if they don't take a bite right now-no deal. Next I move on to promising being able to stay up later-no deal. Then I threaten they will go to bed right now if they don't take a bite-no deal. I offer to let them dip the corn dog in any thing they want-just take a bite, first I offer ketchup then ranch then nacho cheese, cool whip, hot fudge, etc- no deal.


Finally in a desperate state of desperation I start offering vacations- PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU- TAKE TWO MORE BITES OF YOUR MAC-N-CHEESE AND I WILL TAKE YOU TO DISNEYLAND-they counter with - one more bite-DEAL!!!


Repeat this each night. In total I now owe my kids trips to Disneyland, disneyworld, seaworld, legoland, six flags, universal studios. Cruises to Hawaii, Tahiti, Bahamas, Alaska and the Caribbean.


When you stop and think about it life is pretty much broken up into three stages of begging you about food.


The First section of your life is filled with someone begging you as a little kid to take another bite.


Next your life is filled with people begging you not to be a big fat glutton and not to go back for your third trip to the buffet and to slow down before you kill yourself.


Finally everything come fill circle and someone is again begging you to take one more sip of your "ensure" then you can go back to being an old cuss and wanting to die.