I AM SO MAD AT HAILEY

I have got to tell you that I am really disappointed in my 6 year old Hailey. She came home a few weeks ago and tells Kelly and I the bad news from school - She has been chosen as Student of the Month. I immediately had to turn away, bite my tongue, swallow hard and mumble out an unenthusiastic - "congratulations".

Now you may ask yourself what my problem is? I will tell you.
I had a streak going of almost 31 years and 18 grades of NEVER (no not once) ever being chosen as Student of the Month. It was a streak I was proud of and wore like a badge of Honor.

Now don't get me wrong- I never expected the streak to continue in perpetuity through my children's entire scholastic careers but COME ON. Did the kid have to break the family streak in Month 2 of Kindergarten? She couldn't have waited till 2nd or 3rd grade? If I didn't know any better I would say she did it on purpose just to make me mad.

Oh well- next time I catch her reading a book I will demand she put it down and go watch TV. I am not paying a television bill so that she can read a free book. Kids these days-Come On.

Are You Really That Cheap?

It never ceases to amaze me how cheap people are and how much complaining there is every time the U.S. Postal Service decides to raise the price of a stamp. I hope that none of you make the horrible mistake of heading to the stamp vending machine with your .41¢ in exact change only to be horrified that on May 12, 2008 the price was raised to .42¢. That could send you over the edge, like so many other right?
Come on kids - Stop and really think about this for a second. Somebody comes to my house in Arizona, picks up a letter I wrote and takes it to across the country to the door of my friend Aaron Taye's house in Washington D.C in only a couple of days. I should be outraged that I had to give this criminal .42¢ for this service right? I know, I know, its over a 2.4% increase from last year. Relax - I could hardly muster the energy to reach into my couch cushion to rescue the .50¢ that fell between the couch cushion this evening.

The only time you will hear me complain is if the price of ink goes so high that we don't see any new Tramp Stamps around!

Are you First Place on Google?

So I am sure everyone has googled their name right? Well being a public sector lobbyist there is plenty of things on Google about me from committee hearings to newspaper articles. The thing that bugs me most when I perform this ritual is that I am not the #1 Brent Stoddard on Google. The current leader of that is the "Brent Stoddard" of the VAPS - what's that you ask? Well if he is so famous you should know right? Wrong. He is a member of the Video Arcade Preservation Society. I would give you the link to his VAPS profile but you would inevitably click on it and by doing so add more clicks for him further justifying his top position on the Google charts. This is simply unacceptable. It may take me 20 years but eventually I will be the number one B.S. on Google - you heard it here first.

Turning 30 and Old Friends

Turning 30 years old has hit me harder than I could have ever imagined it would emotionally and physically. I think it has to do with the realization that the girls are growing older each and every day and before I know it they are going to be grown up. Perhaps it could also be the constant reminder when I try anything athletic it now takes 2 days to recover. Some of it could be the fact that whenever I talk about my mission my own mind represents the stories like they were only a couple of years ago when in fact it was 10 years ago. Whatever the reason, turning 30 has caused me to pause and think more about life and how quickly it passes by than I would honestly care to do.

Recently I slipped into one of these moments of contemplation while I was cleaning out the office. I was shifting around some old box of photographs and moving around some High School yearbooks while a Dave Matthews Band cd "Crash" was playing on the computer. About 10 minutes into my little trip down memory lane, my wife walks in and asks in a pretty snotty tone, "What, are you getting all sentimental now?" I brazenly told her, "Yes I am".

I have never been a real sentimental guy, but I guess even that is starting to catch up with me. I have made it my "rest of the year project" to try to get in touch with some of my old friends who I have either lost contact with or through my own overwhelming laziness, have failed to communicate often enough to make it worth it. This blog better be able to help me.